Maple seeds? Helicopters?

I am twenty-four years old. This year it occurred to me that maybe “helicopter” is not the scientific name for the papery, fluttering maple seeds that spin down from trees and wait on the ground to be stuck to the noses of children.

At some point in my childhood my mom must have said, “oh look at the helicopters flying down!” and I just stuck one on my nose and never questioned it.

Ugh. I hate myself.

Two episodes in and I’m fully addicted.

So we came in fourth place. Out of four teams. And I fell during our team introduction. While my name was being announced. In front of hundreds of people. And in the second half I hit the floor so hard I peed my panties. In front of hundreds of people. All that really matters is that we had fun, we held it together and played like a team. But I really, really wanted to win. I wanted to mash those bitches’ faces into the track. I wanted to see them cry. At least at the end of the bout we rushed the other team’s bench and had a massive spanking/tickling/kissing fight. We’ll get ‘em next year.

So we came in fourth place. Out of four teams. And I fell during our team introduction. While my name was being announced. In front of hundreds of people. And in the second half I hit the floor so hard I peed my panties. In front of hundreds of people. All that really matters is that we had fun, we held it together and played like a team.

But I really, really wanted to win. I wanted to mash those bitches’ faces into the track. I wanted to see them cry.

At least at the end of the bout we rushed the other team’s bench and had a massive spanking/tickling/kissing fight.

We’ll get ‘em next year.

I don’t think I’m going to do Halloween this year. I just … I don’t know. I don’t think I want to do it.

Hellbound Homewreckers will DESTROY Marauding Mollys. We’re number three! We’re number three!

Hellbound Homewreckers will DESTROY Marauding Mollys.

We’re number three!
We’re number three!

Hot pink duct tape was on sale for $2.99 today. I bought three rolls. Thought about a fourth, but it seemed excessive.

Hot pink duct tape was on sale for $2.99 today. I bought three rolls. Thought about a fourth, but it seemed excessive.

I FUCKING LOVE CANDY CORN!

Here is a precious little baby wearing a candy corn costume.

I don’t normally give a crap about kids, but my heart does melt a little when I see little beh-behs in funny Halloween costumes. What?! Shut up! What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Candy Corn. And how I DON’T WANT KIDS. Shut up!

I dreamed I found a bottle of a perfume I loved as a child. I sprayed it, but couldn't smell it.

Is it even possible to smell in a dream?

Dead Man's Bones

Okay, I’m giving this a listen. It’s hard to separate my feelings: do I like Ryan Gosling’s musical skills, vocal talents, and artistic choices? Or do I just like that listening to him makes it easier to imagine being with him forever?

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Themed by: Hunson